Ronnie Jaymes Mercury emblem · gilded winged sigil over a storm

Ronnie Jaymes Mercury

Rock and Prose

Origin

Rock and Prose

I came into this world by blunt force; that much I'm sure of.

A grand piano, they tell me; falling out of a window on 37th Street in Manhattan. Or wait... maybe it wasn't a grand piano. Maybe it was one of those Roland electric numbers, weighted keys and all; no, that's not it either. It was a Logitech ergonomic keyboard, brother, flung from the living room of some disgruntled remote help desk employee who had plainly reached the end of his rope, and it came sailing through the open window like a lightning bolt from Zeus' own hand. And BAM!!

That was the whole birth. No childhood, no memories, no receipts; just me, a ringing skull, and one certainty that arrived fully formed, the way Athena did, only louder and a little worse for the wear. I knew exactly what I was for.

I'm here to spread the word of rock and prose; the riff and the line, the scream and the stanza, the whole righteous racket of it. That's the gig, man. Take it easy; and if you can't take it easy, take it anyway.

Dispatches

The Blog

The Machine That Draws

So somebody showed me there's a machine now that takes a sentence and hands you back a picture; a whole picture, out of nothing but words and a little electricity. I do not understand how it works and I have elected not to ask; I tell it what I want, and it does as it's told.

Naturally I lost the first afternoon to it. Went down a Taylor Swift rabbit hole, as one does; came out the other side blinking, no memory of the descent, somehow changed, and slightly uncomfortable. Then I got to the real work: Star Wars. The myth, the people, the handful of ideas I've been turning over since before I had a skull to turn them in.

Here's what I made it show me. I've provided the perfect soundtrack. Click any of them; they get bigger, the way good ideas tend to.

A Zillow listing for the Lars moisture farm on Tatooine, a domed homestead in the Jundland Wastes
I put in an offer, cash, waived the inspection; the aquatic marmots in my current place have unionized and I need out.
The vast Galactic Senate chamber, a single lit pod at the center
Ten thousand souls in one room and not one of them would split a plate of nachos with me; this is exactly why I don't do crowd work.
A social post reading: So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.
Got ratio'd by a Sith Lord in the replies and I'll be honest with you, man, it was a clean ratio; I'd have liked it too.
A campaign lawn sign reading Palpatine for Supreme Chancellor
He's already texted me twice about the rally and once about a webinar; I have learned, over many years, to trust the ick.
A professional networking profile for Jar Jar Binks, status open to work
I'd endorse him in a heartbeat, man; he answers his emails, which in my experience is rarer and worth more than talent.
Chewbacca seated as a therapist in a cluttered office
He charges by the hour and does not take insurance, and I keep going back anyway; growth is expensive and mostly non-verbal.
A trade-show floor of Death Star contractors and stormtroopers
Went for the free tote bag, got cornered by a guy from ducting who would not let it go; networking is a circle of hell Dante ran out of ink before he could reach.
A TED-style talk titled Designing for Failure, with a Death Star schematic
Gave it a standing ovation, stayed for the whole Q and A, and I still could not tell you what a key performance indicator is; riveting stuff though.
A da Vinci-style notebook filled with Death Star schematics
I keep a notebook like this too, man, except mine is mostly riffs, one grudge, and a drawing of a duck I am genuinely proud of.
A forensic blueprint, ballistic reconstruction of the Mos Eisley cantina
Han. Next question. I will not be taking questions.
A live race telemetry overlay for the Kessel Run near a black hole
Had a little money on Calrissian and I regret nothing; the man parks the way he flies, and that is the only statistic that has ever moved me.
A Pimp My Ride parody poster, Pimp My Falcon
I emailed the show three separate times about my amp and never heard a word back, which tells you everything you need to know about their priorities.
A man opening a briefcase that glows with a purple light
I know a guy who knows a guy; do not ask me what's in it and I will extend you that very same courtesy, forever.
An opera house audience watching a scene titled The Seduction
Left at intermission, man; I do not need four hours of opera to learn that a smooth talker will ruin your life, I have a phone.
A couple embracing on a Naboo beach at golden hour
Get a room, you two; some of us are out here trying to grieve the entire arc in advance and you are not helping.
Anakin and Padme seated in a counselor's office
I have sat through worse sessions than this; I once did couples counseling with a bandmate over a borrowed delay pedal and neither of us has fully healed.
A dating app profile for Ben, 27, a bearded man in robes on a desert world
Swiped right immediately; a man that unavailable is either a monk or a bass player, and I have dated both to completion.
The Mandalorian in full beskar seated with Grogu at a PTA meeting
I brought a nine-layer dip and the guy in the helmet 'doesn't eat in front of people,' so, fine, more dip for the parents who actually came to participate.
A band on a dark stage beneath a glowing RJM sigil
That is either me or a man who owes me money wearing my face; either way he is loud and he is not sorry.
The Ronnie Jaymes Mercury winged sigil rendered in red with crossed lightsabers
The red one is for when I'm feeling myself, and I want to be very clear with you: do not, under any circumstances, let me near the red one.
Catalog

The Records

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